Week 1 – Ready or not roller coaster

Less than 2 days to the start of the MKMMA.

I remember a time when I was talked into a roller coaster ride. Getting in the car, then the bar came down and we slowly pulled away from the platform. What had seemed like a fun idea suddenly didn’t seem so bright..we were moving slowly and then up a steep, steep incline. My stomach in a knot, visceral fear welling up inside me. Was I going to end up smashed to bits and pieces on the asphalt below? If there had been any way out at that point, I surely would have taken it.

So what is this journey that I have committed to? Am I sure…is it going to get tough (yes)…can I do this? Who will I be after I go over that hill? You know; that hill I can’t see over from here.

It’s also exciting, like driving a brand new car off the lot for the first time. The anticipation and excitement of new roads ahead. The lure of the open road and the adventures it holds. The truth is I can’t wait to begin.

What is it that I am seeking? The obvious answer is greater success in the simple ways: more income, faster growth, a greater sense of confidence that I have this figured out. And underneath that the knowing that I need to stop beating myself up, and start to recognize my value and see what I do right, not just stare at my shortcomings.

But beneath all that is a bigger fear, the visceral “I’m getting ready to fall off the cliff” fear. What if I’m all wrong, doing the wrong thing, never going to succeed;  what if I’m not good enough, smart enough, focused enough. What if I am not brave enough? What if I am making another promise to myself that I won’t see through to the end?

Let’s do this, the anticipation is the hardest part, and once we start it will be great. I wish there was a magic incantation to insure my success, to keep me strong; but I will just look straight ahead and put my hands and heart into the work before me. One thing I know for sure, it will be an amazing journey.